Why Awareness and Noticing Are the First Steps to Change

Awareness and noticing are the first steps to change because you cannot transform what you haven’t recognized. Without observing your emotions, thought patterns, and behavioral triggers first, any attempt at change becomes guesswork that leads to self-blame when it fails. Noticing allows you to identify what needs to change and craft workable next steps based on real information rather than rigid plans. Jumping straight to action without awareness is like building a house without blueprints: you might get something standing, but it won’t be what you actually needed.

One of my favorite moments to witness in therapy is when people realize that life doesn’t entirely happen to them. They have agency. They can’t control everything, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do anything, either. It’s a transformative understanding. It’s powerful to see the light bulbs go on, the spark of hope and determination in their eyes. This is the kind of transformation our team of mental health professionals works to facilitate every day—helping people discover their capacity for meaningful change.

Often, this realization is followed by the question: “Okay, but what do I DO?”

But my recommendation is one of those suggestions that is simultaneously simple and difficult: notice.

Here’s what most people miss. We live in a culture obsessed with action. When something isn’t working, we want to fix it immediately. We want to do something concrete. Planning feels productive. Structure feels responsible. Action feels like progress. But when you charge into action without first noticing, you’re setting yourself up for a specific kind of failure: one that feels personal and hopeless instead of workable and solvable.

Here’s the fundamental issue with premature action: if you charge into a change without first noticing, you’re effectively building a house without any blueprints and hoping for the best. And while spontaneity can be valuable, my experience shows that when people act without noticing first, that’s not spontaneity at its best. That’s setting yourself up to adopt a far more self-blaming, hopeless, and imprecise narrative.

This is both painful to hear and not particularly helpful for moving forward.

“I planned to do my grounding exercise in the morning, so I could check it off my to-do list and get that sense of satisfaction, but then I had a really hard time getting out of bed 5 minutes earlier.”

Now we can have a productive conversation. We can discuss whether it makes sense to move the grounding exercise to a different part of the day. We can explore ways to get to bed earlier. We can even talk about whether to put this idea on the back burner for now.

Key insight: Noticing helps us develop the palette of tools that create a workable next step. Without it, we’re stuck in vague self-criticism instead of specific, solvable problems.

Noticing means paying attention to your experience without immediately trying to fix or change it. It’s about gathering information first, then using that information to inform what comes next. This approach is consistent with evidence-based practices outlined by the National Institute of Mental Health for effective behavioral change. When people practice this, they gather usable information about what’s actually happening, not what they think should be happening. That information becomes the foundation for change that actually endures.

This noticing-first approach forms the foundation of effective therapeutic support, where understanding yourself deeply creates the pathway for lasting transformation.

You don’t need to notice everything at once. Start with one area: perhaps just emotions today, perhaps just your energy patterns this week. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s information.

Before you make your next change, take time to simply observe. Research published by the American Psychological Association has shown that self-awareness practices, even brief ones, significantly improve decision-making and behavioral outcomes. You don’t need a journal, an app, or a formal tracking system. Just pause two or three times a day and notice what’s actually happening inside you.

Part of why I’m not a strong advocate for highly detailed plans when people are ready to change is because I understand what change looks like in the brain, and I want to set people up for success.

Our brains work to be efficient. Whatever we typically do becomes the default response, even on a neurological level. This process has been extensively documented by research from the National Institutes of Health in studies on neuroplasticity and behavioral change. When we try a new approach, whether that’s adding a self-compassion practice, improving sleep habits, or initiating difficult conversations, we’re making a change. We’re deviating from the default response.

Our brains are highly protective, so change, even positive and desired change, can be perceived as a threat. This means that enduring change requires our brain to receive cues of safety while doing something new. This is often why we’re able to follow ambitious New Year’s resolutions for a few days, and then they fall to the wayside.

Part of helping our brains adapt (experiencing something new and different as safe rather than threatening) is by titrating the amount of change. Noticing is the optimal dose of change.

You’re not trying to become a different person overnight. You’re trying to understand the person you are right now, so you can make choices that actually work for your specific circumstances and tendencies.