Play Therapy: How Children Heal Through Play

Play therapy is an evidence-based mental health treatment where children use play—their natural form of communication—to process emotions and challenging experiences. With over 70 years of research supporting its effectiveness, play therapy helps children aged 3-12 develop emotional regulation, improve relationships, and build coping skills through developmentally appropriate activities.

As a Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor working toward my registered play therapy credential, I’m passionate about the therapeutic powers of play and providing accessible care for all of my patients. The theoretical underpinnings of play therapy deeply resonate with me, and I’d love to share an introduction to this transformative approach.

Why Play Is the Language of Childhood

Play therapy legend Garry Landreth captured it perfectly: “Toys are their words and play is their language.” But why is this true?

The brain is a muscle, and the regions that mature first are strongest—they’re the ones we rely on when our brains get tired. From infancy until around age 3, children predominantly develop the brain region responsible for processing pictures and emotions. This region has a three-year advantage over the area responsible for verbal communication.

When therapy is designed to help kids process uncomfortable and challenging parts of their lives, their brains naturally default to the modality with which they have the most practice: visual and emotional processing through play. Although many children I work with have been talking for years by the time we meet, a therapeutic approach that doesn’t require verbal processing remains essential to make it maximally accessible and productive.

What Is Play Therapy Used For?

Play therapy is an evidence-based practice that has demonstrated efficacy for children who need support with:

• Self-confidence and self-concept
• Interpersonal relationships
• Aggressive behaviors and impulse control
• Emotional regulation
• Logical reasoning and decision-making
• Academic functioning
• Anxiety and depression

Play allows children to process life with necessary distance. Rather than didactically reviewing their difficulties with emotional regulation—which contributes to shame—they stretch their frustration tolerance week after week as they build a clay house and the walls keep caving in, or as the Chutes and Ladders board sends them 20 spaces back, or when another player gets the Candy Land “Princess Lolly” card they really, really wanted.

Is Play Therapy Evidence-Based?

Absolutely. Play therapy has over 70 years of research demonstrating its effectiveness. Organizations like the National Institute of Mental Health support extensive studies on play therapy’s efficacy. While play therapy overall has an effect size of 0.80—considered a “large effect size” in research terms—non-directive play therapy has an impressive effect size of 0.92.

This data supports that while play therapy can feel far removed from caregivers’ concrete concerns (“My kid is having daily meltdowns, hits their sibling, and can’t tolerate not getting their way, and you’re spending time with them playing games?”), this indirect approach is both developmentally appropriate and remarkably effective.

At its core, therapy is about helping us process, or make sense of, life. When we’ve made sense of something, we can approach it differently in the future or have a less intense reaction to a trigger when we encounter it. When adults go to therapy, they sit down and talk. When kids go to therapy, they play—it’s the same thing, done in a developmentally appropriate way.

How Does Play Therapy Work?

In the playroom, children express themselves through different forms of play. Some engage in pretend play—storytelling, dress-up, make-believe scenarios where they control the narrative. Others gravitate toward expressive activities like art, music, or movement. Many children benefit from sensory experiences with fidgets, kinetic sand, or active games like catch, while others prefer mastery play through competitive games where they navigate winning and losing.

What ties all these experiences together is their reliance on visuals and emotions. A child might feel excitement when discovering a particular toy, anger when a crayon breaks, or disappointment when the pretend dinosaur doesn’t get invited to the birthday party. These seemingly small moments become opportunities to process real-life challenges through symbolic play, giving children the distance they need to work through difficult experiences.

Types of Play Therapy Approaches

When parents ask about my approach, I explain that play therapy looks different depending on the therapist’s training and the child’s needs. In non-directive play therapy, children have the freedom to direct their own play while I observe, reflect, and provide unconditional positive regard. This approach trusts that given the right therapeutic conditions, children can resolve issues on their own—and the research backs this up with an impressive effect size of 0.92.

Directive play therapy takes a more guided approach. Here, I might introduce specific materials or activities related to what the child is facing. If a child is working through separation anxiety, for example, I might bring out specific toys or games that help us explore those feelings together.

In practice, most skilled play therapists don’t stick rigidly to one approach. We adapt based on what each child needs and what their presenting concerns are, sometimes being more directive and other times stepping back to let the child lead.

Play Therapy Techniques and Benefits

The therapeutic powers of play are numerous and well-documented by the Association for Play Therapy, the leading professional organization for play therapists. In the playroom, I create a safe space for kids to try out different responses and approaches. Outside of therapy, our impulse is often to stop challenging behavior. I’m uniquely positioned to see the value in challenging behaviors and be a safe outlet for them.

Think of the child wrestling with themes of power and fair play—my letting them cheat at cards week after week helps them come to the conclusion on their own that winning feels hollow when it’s not earned. This is a valuable lesson, strongly internalized by their lived experience, and not easily available during family game night.

Whether your child invites me into their play or not (both are okay!), I’m interspersing their play with reflective comments to increase their awareness—from their sense of agency to their use of growth mindset. I’m giving language to their play, simultaneously reducing their cognitive load (which allows them to tolerate more frustration) and providing repetitions of language paired with experience, helping them internalize skills they’ll use independently.

Play Therapy for Teens and Older Children

If you’re reading this and concerned that your child is “too old” for play, don’t worry. While the most robust body of research shows play therapy is efficacious for children aged 3 to 12, teens and adults increasingly benefit from play therapy interventions as well.

When I work with adolescents, I adapt the approach. “Play” isn’t always a dollhouse or action figures—it can be exploring themes through the media they consume or characters they identify with. Pop culture is fair game.

Another consideration: chronological age doesn’t always match developmental age. If your 13-year-old’s impulse control matches developmental norms of a 9-year-old, their brain can continue benefiting from play-based techniques even as the content shifts.

Some adolescents find significant value in engaging in “regressive” play—middle schoolers playing board games designed for preschoolers. This allows them to emotionally exhale from the stresses of transitioning from childhood to adulthood, widening their window of tolerance while still practicing the same building-block skills associated with their presenting concerns.

The Difference Between Play at Home and Play Therapy

You should absolutely play at home too! Because we’re often regulated during play, each play experience helps your child’s brain shift so that “regulated” becomes the default mode.

However, there are significant differences between play and play therapy, namely the presence of the trained therapist:

• Therapeutic responses: How I respond (words, tone, facial expression, body language), when I respond (knowing when to stay silent), and where I’m positioned in the room are all done intentionally to offer co-regulation and unconditional positive regard.
• Theme tracking: I look for themes and notice shifts in materials selected, how children play with items, and how they respond to pressure or preferred outcomes. This data informs our parent check-ins and helps you know which skills to watch for as they generalize outside the playroom.
• Safe exploration: I create a space where kids try different responses and approaches. The child who keeps changing game rules and yells at me for not keeping up? I get to model not knowing and show them I mean it when I say they can bring their full selves—even when that’s unpleasant for me—and I’ll still greet them with a genuine smile next week.

In time, my consistent approach yields trust. Given that the relationship between patient and therapist is the single most curative factor of therapy, this is profoundly significant.

When to Consider Play Therapy for Your Child

Consider play therapy if your child is experiencing:

• Daily meltdowns or aggressive behavior
• Difficulty with emotional regulation
• Challenges in relationships with peers or siblings
• Anxiety, depression, or persistent sadness
• Recent trauma or major life transition (divorce, loss, relocation)
• Academic struggles related to emotional factors
• Difficulty expressing emotions verbally

Play therapy provides a developmentally appropriate way for children to process these challenges and build the skills they need to thrive. For comprehensive evaluation and treatment planning, working with a psychiatrist alongside play therapy can provide additional support, particularly when medication management or more intensive intervention may be beneficial.

Ready to help your child thrive? Schedule a play therapy consultation with WBMA today. Our experienced professionals are ready to guide your family toward healing and growth.